个人陈述教材(1)
编者按：Lesson One: Tackling the Question Think of the essay as the face of your application. An application without an essay is a s... Lesson One: Tackling the Question
Think of the essay as the face of your application. An application without an essay is a statistic—just another fa
celess person in a crowd. An application with a poorly written essay does not give admissions officers the chance to care about you. Use simple psychology: make them feel that they know you, and it will be harder for them to reject you.
Make them know you AND LIKE YOU, and they might accept you despite your weakness in other areas. Understanding the importance of the essay is a necessary first step toward perfecting your application. If you are normally a procrastinator, you should understand that your success depends entirely on the amount of time and effort you put into the essay writing process. If all of this has you sweating, you can relax now. Taking this process seriously is the first step. This course will help you get through the other steps.
Admissions essay questions tend to be very broad and difficult to tackle. Yet, it is imperative that you actually answer the question in your essay. It should go without saying, but if your essay does not address the question, then everything you learn in the rest of this course is for naught.
While looking at your application, you are probably asking yourself: “Why in the world are these admissions people asking me this question? What do they want me to write about?” While there is no one answer to either of these questions, there is some reason behind the most popular questions posed by applications.
Law School Statement Strategies
Please select from the following common law school statement themes. Please note: these themes are not mutually exclusive. The best statements incorporate more than one theme.
Why I Want To Be A Lawyer? Why I Am Qualified? Why I Am An Exceptional Person ? Issues-Based Essays ? General Application Questions ?
Theme 1: Why I Want To Be A Lawyer
The secret to doing this theme well is to show why you want to be a lawyer. Don’t just say it and expect it to stand on its own. Admissions officers want believable details from your life that demonstrate your desire and make it real to them. Says one admissions officer:
“Although you do get tired of reading it, it’s nearly impossible (and ill-advised!) for an applicant to avoid communicating at some point that: “I want to be a lawyer.” It’s the ones who say only that that rankle. The ones who support the statement with interesting and believable evidence are the ones who do it best.”
个人陈述教材(1)
One secret to avoiding the here-we-go-again reaction is to keep an eye on your first line. Starting with “I’ve wanted to be a lawyer since…” makes admissions officers cringe. Yes, we know it’s an easy line to fall back on, but these poor people have read this sentence more times than they can count, and it gets old fast. Instead, start with a story that demonstrates your early call to law. Look, for example, at the first paragraph of this essay:
“That’s not fair.” Even as the smallest of children, I remember making such a proclamation: in kindergarten it was “not fair” when I had to share my birthday with another little girl and didn’t get to sit on the “birthday chair.” When General Mills changed my favorite childhood breakfast cereal, “Kix,” I, of course, thought this was “not fair.” Unlike many kids (like my brother) who would probably have shut up and enjoyed the “great new taste” or switched to Cheerios, this kid sat her bottom down in a chair (boosted by the phone book) and typed a letter to the company expressing her preference for the “classic” Kix over the “great new taste” Kix.
In telling the story, this writer demonstrates that the roots of her political activism run deep without having to ever say it. She doesn’t just tell us and expect us to take her word for it-she shows us.
Another approach that is overdone is the “my dad is a lawyer” approach. Some admissions officers said that when the only reason an applicant gives for wanting to be a lawyer is that it is a family legacy, it makes them question not only the motivation but the maturity of the applicant. While this doesn’t mean you need to hide the fact that your parent is a lawyer, it does mean that you should avoid depending on that as your sole reason for wanting to go to law school. If a parent truly was your inspiration, then describe exactly why you were inspired by them, and what you have done to test your motivation in the real world.
Theme 2: Why I Am Qualified
Writing about your experiences in the law field supports both the Why I Want to Be a Lawyer theme and the Why I Am Qualified theme, so it is always a good idea to spend time on the experiences that qualify you as a potential law student.
Direct work experience is always the best, of course, for a number of reasons. For one, it proves your motivation to the committee. For another, it shows that you have the potential for being successful in the field. Perhaps most importantly, it shows the committee that you understand the profession and know what you will be getting into upon graduating. One type of applicant that the committee keeps a wary eye out for is the kind who wants to go to law school but doesn’t have any realistic idea of what lawyers do beyond the glamorized images seen in television and movies.
个人陈述教材(1)
But you do not need to have had an internship at a law firm to show that you are qualified. Your experience might be political, such as the convention you volunteered to help organize or the campaign you helped raise funds for. Or it can be academic or issues-based, such as the thesis you wrote on law and the Internet. The rule here is, if you have it, use it.
If you have a lot of experience, the bulk of your essay may be spent on this theme rather than on the Why I Want to Go to Law School theme. You should try to relate your qualifications back to your motivation at some point, though, even if it is only a reference. Often, people will do this in a single, concluding sentence. This can be a powerful approach as long as your passion is clearly demonstrated through your description of your experiences. Look at the essay below for an example of this. The writer spends all but the last paragraph of his essay describing his dedication to activism, first by lobbying to have the Confederate flag removed from the Boy Scouts, and later by actions taken as student body president. He doesn’t make a verbal tie-in to his motivation until the last few sentences of his essay:
I sought practical improvements through independent thinking, perseverance, and tenacity in the face of fierce criticism. A legal education would give me tools to better use these abilities. I am not headed to law school on a mission, but I see law as an opportunity to contribute as we build our future.
Admissions Officers’ Pet Peeve: Making Lists
For some candidates the problem will not be that they don’t have enough direct experience to write about; they have too much. The danger inherent in wanting to include all your experience is that space is limited and you can either end up with an essay that is too long, or one that consists of little more than a listing of your activities and accomplishments. Says one officer:
“The essay should never be merely a prose form of a C.V. That’s dry to read, and again, doesn’t offer any additional information about the candidate.”
It is all right to include all the experience you have had somewhere in your essay but keep it short and do it in the context of a story or a personal account using colorful details. After all, you can attach a resume that will list all your jobs and promotions. The essay has the much more important job of bringing these experiences to life.
Also, resist the hard-sell approach. The admissions officers at top schools read so many essays written by extremely qualified applicants that writing a self-serving “I did this, I did that” essay isn’t going to wow them; it will simply make them yawn. You are much better off with a humble attitude. Let your experiences speak for themselves and focus on making your essay personal and interesting instead. Having someone objective read your essay before you send it in will help you discern the kind of impression you are making.
个人陈述教材(1)
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Theme 3: Why I Am Exceptional
If you are different in any sense of the word-if you are an older applicant, a member of a minority, a foreign applicant, an athlete or musician, disabled, or have an unusual academic or career background, use this angle to your advantage by showing what your unique background will bring to the school and to the practice of law. One interesting topic for foreign students, for example, might be to talk about how the education system differs in this country and why they are choosing it over a course of study in their own country and/or language.
Beware, however, that there are instances where playing the diversity card will backfire:
If you are a “student of diversity” then of course, use it. But don’t harp on it for its own sake or think that being different by itself is enough to get you in-that will only make us feel manipulated and it can show that you didn’t know how to take advantage of a good opportunity.
Only people with significant and documentable disabilities should bring them up in the essay. By that I mean not the current popular overdiagnosed disability du jour, which in my day was ADD.
The secret is to tie in your diversity strongly with your motivations or qualifications, or with what you can bring to the class. If you can’t make a strong tie-in, then you might simply make a brief mention of your exceptional trait, background, or talent instead of making it the focus. This can be a very effective approach because it shows that you have enough confidence in your qualifications and abilities to let them stand on their own. It is as though you are simply mentioning the fact that you are blind or a refugee from a war-torn land or a violin virtuoso to add shading to your already strong, colorful portrait.
Some applicants, however, will have the opposite problem and will feel uncomfortable stressing their differences. Career switchers or older applicants, for example, sometimes feel insecure about incorporating their experience into the essay, thinking that they will only draw attention to the fact that the bulk of their experience is in another field. If this sounds like you, remember that your past experience gives you a unique perspective and you can use your essay to turn this into an advantage instead of a liability. Or, alternately, you could stress the similarities instead of the differences and make your diverse job experiences relevant by drawing comparisons between the skills required in your current field and the ones that will be needed in law school.
个人陈述教材(1)
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Theme 4: Issues-Based Essays
Issues-based essays come in many different forms. The best kind of issues-based essays are written by applicants who have a strong passion for a specific cause and can show why the cause is important to them and what actions they have taken to further it. If there is an issue that dominates your thoughts, studies, or activities, it is natural that this issue will also dominate your essay.
Often times issues-based essays focus more on analyzing all sides of the issue rather than taking a stand from one viewpoint. If you do this type of essay well, it will show the committee that you are a person of reason and logic who can make mature, educated decisions based on a thorough analysis of issues. It is not even necessary that you come to any final conclusions-just showing that you can see and analyze all sides of an argument has validity.
The pitfall inherent in any of the above issues-based approaches is that applicants who write about their commitment to a social justice issue without backing it up with real evidence or experience risk appearing insincere. One admissions officer had this comment:
Year after year hundreds of applicants swear by their altruistic motives, yet only 2% of all lawyers graduating in 1991 took jobs in the public sector, protecting the environment, fighting racial inequality, and crusading for rights for the homeless. The majority (over 60%) took jobs in private firms. After a time, you become skeptical.
If your beliefs are genuine, you will be able to support them with clear evidence of your involvement in activities that demonstrate your commitment.
Business School Essay Question Help
Why M.B.A.? Questions
Contribution and Diversity Questions
Accomplishment Questions
Leadership Ability Questions
Hobby and Extracurricular Questions
Role Model Questions
Failure Questions
Very Personal Questions
General Application Questions
Why M.B.A.? Questions
Discuss the factors that influenced your career decisions to date. Please describe your professional goals for the future. How will the M.B.A. experience influence your ability to achieve your goals? (Wharton)
Discuss your career progression to date. Why do you want an M.B.A.? How do you envision your career progressing after receiving the M.B.A.? (Tuck)
Specifically address your post-M.B.A. short- and long-term professional goals. How will Darden assist you in attaining these goals?
个人陈述教材(1)
Briefly assess your career progress to date. Elaborate on your future career plans and your motivation for pursuing a graduate degree at Kellogg.
What are your post-M.B.A. career plans? (Harvard)
This is the most common type of essay question, asked on virtually every business school application. This question asks you to present, clearly and coherently, your all too familiar reasons for wanting an M.B.A. The questions usually consist of a few distinct parts. Most will ask about your past (How has your career progressed to date? What has motivated you thus far?), your future (How do you envision your career progressing? What are your goals for the future?), or both. All of them expect you to relate the information to your present desire to attain an M.B.A.
Since this is usually the first question asked, this essay will be the first one the officers see when they get your file. Let it create your first impression. It is similar to the moment in an interview when you shake the interviewer's hand and smile. Similarly, your first essay needs to be confident, direct, and to the point. The admissions committee uses this question to ascertain your motivation, maturity, and focus. While undergraduate application essays are understandably fuzzy about career choices and goals, graduate essays should, in contrast, be crystal clear. If you have vague reasons for pursuing an M.B.A., you need to reconsider your decision to apply. Giving a vague response to this question is akin to having a weak handshake and not looking the interviewer in the eye.
You must accomplish a lot in this essay, so pay special attention to structure. You can tackle the question by dividing your answer into three separate pieces. The first can be about your past professional experience. The second can discuss your future career goals. The third can be about the school's particular program. At each step, demonstrate why and how these experiences, goals, or attributes motivate you to get your M.B.A.
Limiting yourself to one career goal is best, if it is general. If you have a couple of different jobs in mind, that is all right, too. However, your reasons for them should be easily inferred or specifically stated. If you are truly unsure of what your goals are (and we cannot talk you out of applying) always admit so honestly rather than make up something. At the very least, though, give credible reasons for your indecision, and explain why you believe that this school's program will help you overcome your ambivalence.
个人陈述教材(1)
Even if the question does not specifically ask for it, articulate why the particular program makes sense for you given your unique professional and personal goals. To do this well, you must spend the necessary time in introspection and also research the school. When you understand the school's program and positioning, use what you have uncovered only if you can apply it to yourself. Do not write what you think they want to hear. Admissions officers can spot this kind of insincerity from a mile away. They also seek a heterogeneous mix of backgrounds and experiences. Therefore, trying to fashion yourself after your conception of a typical applicant can hurt you even if you do it well. The truer you are to your real motivations and desires, the better your essay will be.
SAMPLE ESSAY:
Discuss the factors that influenced your career decisions to date. Please describe your professional goals for the future. How will the M.B.A. experience influence your ability to achieve your goals? (Wharton)
"stop fooling around, old boy. How would an M.B.A. help you? Better get on with your career.? Tha's what they say. Friends, colleagues, others.
I've heard it all before. If I were you, I would not do it. Don't waste your time, get ahead with your studies as quickly as possible? my professor for experimental physics told me. That was back in ?8, and of course he was not talking about my M.B.A., but about my intention to go to China: Take a special scholarship and go-for a year, to study Chinese, and physics, in China. Get in line, professor. He was just one of many who did not approve of my idea.
But for me, my plan clearly was: A chance, a challenge, and a choice. A chance to open my intellectual door to the world Europeans consider the (psychologically) most distant one from Western culture, and to broaden my view well beyond the usual. A challenge to learn a language Westerners see as one of the most difficult in a compressed timeframe and to adapt to a completely unfamiliar environment-while not letting this impact my overall physics studies timeline. A choice to diverge from the mainstream path to exclusive specialization in a single intellectual realm, not just on a spare time basis-but with serious commitment.
Looking back after seven years, I could not feel more assured that at that time, I made the right choice. My unusual combination of experiences sets me worlds apart from my physics-only ex-fellow students. Working for (Big Consulting Company), (so far) exclusively on international assignments in high tech industries, is the kind of job I had envisioned at that time. I could not have come here without that choice I made back then.
个人陈述教材(1)
Now I am-on a higher playing field, though-back to square one: Once again, about to make an academic detour form the prescribed path. An unnecessary delay for my career progression.
But stop! Is that at all true? Getting an M.B.A. makes perfect sense for a consultant-after all, most consultants are M.B.A.s. Getting an M.B.A. makes even more sense in my particular case: it is the perfect academic supplement to my physics background-the one I need to become a leading edge high tech consultant. Detailed technology understanding plus profound business and group skills, that is a rare combination which really gets the career rocket roaring. This is certainly true for me, and I think that this is one of my most important and convincing reasons for an M.B.A.
Having spent considerable time and energy studying Chinese and traveling in Asia (and the rest of the world), an exclusively German career certainly is the opposite of what I am interested in. No cozy, warm place in an easy, totally predictable environment. Guaranteed career progression when the guy above me retires. Getting a dog at 35 and the BMW and house that go with it. No thanks.
So what is it I am interested in? I want to be where the guerilla wars of business are fought (the shoestring traveller resurfaces). Where global language and intercultural/personal skills make the difference. Where intelligence translates into quantum leaps (courtesy of the physicist). This is where I can make my best contribution. In short, I want to be where the action and the challenges are.
For the late 20th and early 21st century, this means, in terms of topic, clearly one industry: High Tech (just watch the stock market). I am well equipped for this with my physics background. In terms of region, it clearly means Asia. Through language study and travel exposure, I have come a long way in getting myself prepared. In terms of function, it clearly means strategy consulting. If there is any place better for this than (Big Consulting Company), please let me know.
Thus the reasons why I want to go back to university and do a dual degree in business and East Asian studies are: Get myself a thorough business background to put all the pieces of case experience I have accumulated during my (Big Consulting Company), life in their right places and understand their context. Do the same with all my pieces of Asian studies and travel experiences. Get ready for the real action I want to be a part and a driver of-and satisfy academic ambitions lurking beneath the surface of the 揾ands-on? consultant.
个人陈述教材(1)
The knowledge I will gain should help facilitate a career change. After extensive work in European High Tech industry, I want to transfer to Asia. Completion of my desired academic program should give me perfect preparation, some initial contacts, and, through a summer internship in Asia, a clear idea of what to expect from working there (in contrast to studying and traveling).
Of at least equal importance, the Lauder/Wharton dual degree program will also give me a clear view on all the options that I have with my very special combination of skills. While I currently cannot imagine going anywhere else but to one of the Asian offices of (Big Consulting Company), after my graduation, I am also realistic enough to understand that there certainly is a number of other opportunities out there which I would be attracted to, but just know nothing about at this time. I am a firm believer in having many options and in exploring quite a few in detail-whatever position you抮e in, there may always be one which is an even better fit with your ambitions and capabilities.
I think it is obvious why I apply to the Wharton School. Among all the leading business schools, Lauder/Wharton is one of the very few offering a serious joint-degree program that makes sense. With its strong international orientation, Lauder/Wharton offers the type of courses I am looking for. With my diverse set of unusual ideas, experiences and capabilities, I would make a most valuable and colorful addition to the student body of Wharton.
So what are my concrete plans for the time after my graduation? Where in Asia can I be a driver the way described above? One extremely attractive option for me would be helping to set up the (Big Consulting Company), office in (Asian Capital). Or one in (Other Asian Capital). Or in Saigon (Cantonese and Vietnamese are no more different than Swedish and German). But frankly, these are just a few options I can pinpoint now-and I am sure that many more will become apparent during my Wharton experience.
After all, my desire to come to Wharton is just another manifestation of the characteristics that made me go to China a couple of years ago: Take the chance to widen your scope. Accept the challenge that goes with replacing narrow security by broad uncertainty. Make the choice to put all your effort into fully developing and playing out your talents.
So I am not going to take my friends?advice. They have their dogs already, and the BMW is ordered. Sorry-I am not ready for that.
个人陈述教材(1)
COMMENTS:
The writer of this essay begins painting a picture of himself by discussing his trip to China. The fact that he took the trip instead of heeding all the advice others gave him shows determination, maturity, and character without him ever having to say the words. He clearly demonstrates why an M.B.A. makes sense for him generally (as a consultant) and specifically (to supplement his technical background). He pointedly bucks the usual stereotype of, 揋etting a dog at 35 and the BMW and house that go with it.?Instead, the essayist makes his reasons personal and unique by relating them directly to his professional goal of high-tech consulting in Asia. He then spends a paragraph specifically addressing the Wharton program. To demonstrate the sincerity and focused nature of his goals further, he lists a few very specific options that will be available to him once he graduates.
Certainly, his background and experience make him unusual. However, his style makes him stand out. The essayist consistently uses questions to transition to each new point without being distracting. He begins with a question. Stop foolin? around, old boy. How would an M.B.A. help you??Then he carries the theme throughout, But stop! Is this all true? and So what is it I am interested in?Finally, he write so what are my concrete plans for the time after my graduation? Where in Asia can I be a driver the way described above?To every question he asks he gives a succinct and pointed answer. He concludes by subtly reiterating his main points of chance, challenge, and choice. His last sentence adds the final stylistic touch by referring back to the question posed in the first sentence. In doing this, he effectively nails down the impression we have formed about his character-without him ever having to espouse his own virtues directly.
Contribution and Diversity Questions
Your background, experiences, and values will enhance and diversify Kellogg. How? (1-2 double-spaced pages)
The Darden School seeks a diverse and unique entering class of future managers. How will your distinctiveness enrich our learning environment and enhance your prospects for success as a manager?
Every essay question on the admissions application is geared toward the same thing. Committee members want to find out who you are, what makes you different from everyone else, and how you will contribute to the school if accepted. This question asks these things outright. Because it asks so directly what the admissions committee wants to know, this is one of the most common questions you will find. The question has a structure similar to the Why M.B.A.? question. It asks both Why us? and Why you? However, the nature of this question lends itself to a more personal response. Whereas the Why M.B.A.? question asks what you have done, what you want to do, and how that relates to the school, this question asks about who you are and how it relates to the school. The Why M.B.A.? question asks about your experiences, and this question asks about your qualities.
个人陈述教材(1)
Here are a few of the common ways that students incorporate this theme:
“I’ve Always Wanted to Be a Doctor”
AKA: “I’ve Wanted to Be a Doctor Since I Was…” and “Everyone Has Always Said I’d Be a Doctor”
This is perhaps the most common approach of all. The secret to doing it well is to show, not just tell, why you want to be a doctor. You cannot just say it and expect it to stand on its own. Take the advice of one admissions officer:
“The “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor” essay has been done to death. I think candidates need to be careful to show that their decision was not only a pre-adolescent one and has been tested over the years and approached in a mature manner.”
Supply believable details from your life to make your desire real to the reader. One secret to avoiding the “here we go again” reaction is to be particularly careful with your first line. Starting with “I’ve wanted to be a doctor since…” makes the reader cringe. It’s an easy line to fall back on, but admissions officers have read this sentence more times than they care to count; don’t add to the statistic.
“My Parents are Doctors”
This approach to the “why I want to be a doctor” theme is dangerous for a different reason. Says one officer:
“It’s a prejudice of mine, but the legacy essay, the one that reads, “My dad and my grandpa and my great-grandpa were all doctors so I should be too,” makes me suspect immaturity. I envision young people who can’t think for themselves or make up their own minds.”
This is