雅思作文秘籍剖析大作文主体段扩展方式
本文来自雅思作文网liuxue86.com《剖析大作文主体段扩展方式》。 雅思大作文段落扩展有很多方法,比如列举法、举例法、对比法、因果法、让步法、定义法、类比法等,但是在实际运用的时候很多考生的局限性很强,从而限制了分数的进一步提高。在接下来的章节里,查字典出国留学网雅思频道(liuxue86.com)的特聘专家诸瑞琪将会系统地总结目前雅思大作文主体段的主要扩展方式及各自的侧重点:
一、举例法
举例法主要用于通过摆事实引用数据等对论点加以说明,从而增加论证的说服力,同时也是增加段落字数的一种简单的方法。目前的大作文若一个例子都不举的话是很难得到高分的,而且单纯的说理会使得文章显得很“空”,举例子既是一种知识面的展示,更是写作功底的体现。我们在使用举例法时常用的连接词有:for example, for instance, such as, namely, take something for example, etc, 有时候我们还可以用一些句子来拖例子,比如This is true given the example of … ; 还能用一些副词来接续后面的例子,比如indeed, today, nowadays…等。但是目前比较主流的举例子是用宾语从句引导,比如A recent survey shows that…。以下我们来剖析一下举例法的实际应用。
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1. Secondly, air transport is the biggest environment killer. A recent survey conducted by Chicago University shows that the plane air pollution is at least three times as the vehicle. With the increase of greenhouse effect, shouldn’t we improve our environment protection concept?
2. Firstly, the traffic jam caused by the increasing number of cars is a nightmare for all drivers. A recent survey reveals that Beijing citizens spend averagely about 65 minutes on road every day. Billions of dollars are being wasted on the road in many big cities all over the world, such as London, New York, Paris and Tokyo, but we could do nothing to change it till now.
在这2个主体段的片段中,作者用宾语从句来引导例子,尤其在第一个例子中他还增加了调查问卷的来源,从而增加了一定的权威性和学术性。我们一般可以用一些高等学府,或者科研机构或权威杂志来作为这些研究调查问卷的来源。类似的用法我们还可以来看以下的例子:
The Royal Commission on Environmental Pollution says bits of the country, notably southeast England, are under pressure on waste and water use. But simply aiming to reduce population size will have little impact, it says. This is the final report from the 40-year-old commission, which is being abolished under spending cuts. It is two-year investigation looked at issues such as water supplies, waste, urban pollution and wildlife.
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The report, Demographic Change and the Environment, concludes that increasing consumption, the concentration of population in areas that are ill-equipped to supply its needs, and the trend towards single-person households - which increases energy demand - all matter more than the simple size of the UK's population.
3. This is sometimes true given the examples of many gifted athletes who failed to win the finals, such as the football team of the Netherlands which was always regarded as the expected winner of the World Cup but often disappointed the world in the end. Lack team spirit and cohesion lead to the frequent failure of their games.
在这个段落中,我们使用的这个主系表结构引导举例,这个句子的使用规则是将表语作为先行词,然后引导一个定语从句。
4. However, there are significant social, economic, and environmental drawbacks gained by purchasing imported food products. Examples of proposed environmental downsides include increased packaging, increased impact of transportation, higher livestock densities, etc.
在这个段落中,我们使用的举例子结构是前一个结构的“缩写”形式,直接引导一个主谓宾的简单句,对于快速成文也是很有帮助的。
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5. In many places, cultural traditions are destroyed because they are being commercialized for profits. For example, the moment a tourist sets foot on a place of attraction, he is always first welcomed by a crowd of peddlers selling souvenirs that are always fake and overpriced.
6. Furthermore, mass tourism is inevitably damaging the local environment. Take ` wild tourism` as an example, it has resulted in such many serious problems as rivers or lakes being polluted, trees being cut down and animals lost their habitats and went extinct, etc.
一般我们在使用举例法的时候,都是用主谓宾或者主系表的简单句作为基本的引导句型,然后根据后续是否还可以导出一个结论,灵活搭配定语从句或者是分词结构来扩展。
7. The mushroomed fast foods have very negative effects on societies. Since hundred years ago, the traditional foods have become one of the most important symbols of a culture. As we mentioning some countries, we can associate them with their famous foods, Peking duck of China, Sashimi of Japan, and Rome Pizza of Italy. But the international fast foods are occupying every corner of the whole world nowadays. In the near future, we can tell that all cultures will have a same famous food – McDonald’s. Such a normal kind of food is actually a culture aggression of most countries.
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我们在举例子时,还可以用表示时间的连词来引导例子,而不需要很机械式的用for instance之类的标准式的举例连词。
8. The UK needs to consume less and share people around the country more equally in order to tackle its environmental problems, a report recommends.
9. Academic subjects, such as reading and writing, play a vital role in the education system.
在这个句子里,such as是部分举例,倘若遇到全部举例时,只需将连接词换成namely即可。
二、因果论述法
因果法其实分为2个层面,一是先因后果,二是先果后因,2者皆属于因果法,此法也是所有论述手法中最主要的一种,也几乎是每篇文章必然会使用的方法。总结了一些因果法常用的连接词如下:therefore, as a result, as a consequence, consequently, because of this, hence, thus, thereby, for this reason, result in, lead to, the cause of, the reason for, as a result of, owing to, due to, because, since, as, result from, boil down to, attribute to等。因果法尤其在“分析解决型”大作文中是主要的段落论述手法。
1. However, others who claim that users should pay for the cost find their origins in economics. For a variety of different reasons, many people buy larger cars than they need for daily purposes or waste fuel by driving aggressively, which results in both the increasing load of the road and the environmental pollution. If the users are charged to pay for the road geared to the size of the car they use, they might become wise to buy more environmentally friendly cars or choose public transport. Additionally, users might have the right to involve in designing roads in a more pragmatic way as a result of paying for the fees. That way, the financial burden of the government will be eased.
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2. Many instances of juvenile delinquency have been attributed to the violent or pornographic content of some TV shows and video games. Now we are confronted with a proliferation of blood and nudity on TV, the computer and the Internet. As a consequence, many youngsters, especially boys, get addicted to such scenes. The increase of juvenile crime rate is symbiotically connected with the rise of adult crime rate in society. For instance, many youths are tempted by evil adults into committing crimes and others who are victims of adult offenses become criminals themselves because of their revenge on society.
在第2个段落中,作者充分利用了因果法的技巧,从导致青少年犯罪的间接原因,最后得出直接原因,这种因果内的原因切换的技巧在分析解决型文章里是非常实用并且高效的。
三、对比论述法
对比论述法是通过对2个以上事物或者人物的对比对论点加以说明,对比法常用的连接词有:likewise, similarly, at the same time, in contrast, nevertheless, still, instead, rather, on the contrary, after all, unlike, while, whilst等,有时候可以用条件状语从句来进行对比,也可以用介宾短语来引导对比。
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1. Stability also contributes to the proliferation of fossil fuels in both industrial production and household application. A power station fuelled by coal is able to generate electricity constantly, whilst the production of a wind power station largely depends on the weather. Similarly, a household solar geyser can not work properly in rainy days when people will have to use gas water heater.
2. Teachers help students focus on what they are learning. If they are learning something by themselves, it is easy to become distracted and go on to other activities. Also, it is tempting to skip parts of the learning process they think they don’t need, which can hinder their ability to really understand the subject. By comparison, teachers keep their attention on the subject and also approach a subject logically, taking it one step at a time.
在上述的第一个段落中,通过火力发电站和风力发电站的对比,突出化石能源较之可再生能源在能量提供的持续性上的优势。此外,作者继续用了第2个对比来进一步说明这个论点,在2个对比的使用中,请大家特别注意similarly这个连词的使用,在表示类比的时候我们经常会用到这个连词。而在第二个段落中,作者又通过有老师在和没有老师在学生学习的2种境况做了横向比较,从而突出老师对于学生学习的重要性。
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在对比论述法中,还有一种高级的论述方式,叫做“否定假设法”,这种论述手法使用的理论是假设某个条件不存在,会导致什么样的后果,一般用without来引导,主句中多使用虚拟语气。下面我们来看一个例子:
Many medical treatment and procedures have been developed from experiments on animals. Since animals share many features with humans, scientists use animals to test the safety and effectiveness of newly developed drugs before pilot testing on small groups of patients. Medical teams practice new operating techniques such as transplants on animals. Without animal testing, many procedures or new drugs would be extremely unsafe.
我们在使用这种发展手法时,一般是用在论述的最后,用来最后增强语气,其实我们只要将without换成with的话,否定假设法一下子就变成了肯定条件法,大家不妨可以举一反三。
四、列举论述法
列举论述法用于列举观点、理由等,是五段式大作文主体段的主题句以及四段式大作文分论点常用的扩展方式。朗阁海外考试研究中心将列举法常用的连接词总结如下:initially, apart from, in addition to, moreover, furthermore, also, in addition, besides, for one thing…for another, on the other hand等。此外,有时候我们还可以用诸如from a helicopter view来进行大类视角的切换,这种也属于列举,以下我们来看几个例子:
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1. Homework has many pluses. Apart from helping students do better on tests, homework helps students review and practice what has been taught in class. Homework helps improve retention and understanding; furthermore, it helps students hone their time management and organizational skills.
请注意在使用apart from或者in addition to这2个连词的时候,一般后面接续次要观点,而将主要观点放在主句中。上面的例子中,帮助学生考试考出好成绩和帮助学生复习以及练习上课的知识点都是属于回家作业的优点,但是作者认为后者更重要,因此将前者放在了这个连词后面。这种用法我们在四段式大作文主体段中经常会用到,大家务必引起重视。
2. However, reaching the conclusion that other subjects are no longer important is biased, the obvious benefits of subjects like music and sports for students cannot be denied. For one thing, learning music can cultivate one’s temperament and foster patience and consistency which are both coveted traits for the students. For another, sports energizes students, hence, they are able to plough into their studies enthusiastically and with confidence.
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在使用“一方面...另一方面”这个连词时,首先要注意的是必须同时使用,不能单独使用;其次,这个连词一般是用来连接论点的2个不同方面或者2个不同论点的相似方面。
3. From a helicopter view, in countries, particularly developing ones, the economic advances need numerous professional talents in the fields like finance, management, legislation, medicine, thereby putting universities in a pivotal position of nurturing these professionals.
在这段文字中,作者从”微观”,切换到了”宏观”,“宏观”一般指的是社会、国家等大范围,即所谓的大类视角切换,也同属于列举法的范畴,因此我们在用列举法发展段落时,同时要注意理由、观点的类别,在发展的时候要注意层次感,使用的连接词要准确。一般建议在列举时从”小”写到”大”。
列举论述法在分析解决型大作文提供解决方案的主体段中经常会使用,下面我们来看一个例子:
4. I feel that there are three ways that crime can be reduced. Firstly, most developed countries have a large and well-paid police force. However, they spend most of the time in cars. They need to be more visible on the street. Secondly, young people need to be educated about how they can contribute to society. Finally, parents should be more responsible. They have children, yet they do not control their behaviors. Consequently, the children grow up without learning the rules of society.
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五、让步法
让步法主要有2个层面,一个是让步段,另一个是局部让步,前者目前使用的较多的是宾语从句引导,而后者可以用让步状语从句或者是转折的连词简单的引导。
5. Those against the use of animal testing claim that it is inhumane to use animal in experiments.I disagree completely. It would be much more inhumane to test new drugs on children or adults. Even if it were possible, it would also take much longer to see potential effects, because of the length of time we live compared to laboratory animals such as rats or rabbits.
这个让步段中作者还使用了2次让步法,即划线的最后一个句子,这种2次让步法在高分范文中是一个非常实用的论述手法,只要注意用虚拟语气表达即可。
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