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官方写作风格的高分雅思作文指导

发布时间:2017-02-20来源:查字典留学网

先给大家看一篇考官范文,来看看考官是如果用简单的词写出不简单的句子的。

此文选自剑桥雅思真题集8- Test1.

首先进入到文章的开头段:

A childs education has never been about learning information and basic skills only.(1) It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of society.(2) Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the parents alone. (3)

无论是第一句话中的never及only也好, 还是最后一句的not及alone也好, 考官都运用了我们在汉语表述同样会用得到的一种表达形式双重否定表肯定, 从而增强句子语气。 第二句中的the next generation 也是不错的用法, 这也是我们上一讲中提到过的less common vocabulary。 短语中的单独每个单词挑选出来大家都认识, 但是放到一起的这种说法, 大部分同学还是无法掌握的。

接下来我们进入到文章的主体段2:

In order to be a good member of any society the individual must respect and obey the rules of their community and share their values.(1)Educating children to understand the need to obey rules and respect others always begins in the home and is widely thought to be the responsibility of parents.(2) They will certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world. (3)

首先来看句1和句2, 运用了特殊开头词的写作形式in order to (介词短语放句首)及Educating(动名词放句首)。 大部分同学写句子时, 名词代词放句首的偏多, 特殊开头词引出句子的方法这点我们也是可以学习的。

再来看句子中的respect and obey 这组, 及what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world这组, 两组都属于平行结构, 一组是短语平行, 一组是平行中最高级的用法从句平行。

本段材料的最后这句, 不仅是三个从句的平行, 而且万能性还很强。 我们可以把主句They will certainly be the first to help children learn中的主语They换成其他主语, 如志愿服务工作。 我们再来看下这个句子, 志愿服务工作可以帮着孩子们学习什么是重要的, 应该怎么做及应该在世界中起到怎样的作用。 三个从句写出来, 不仅句子长度拉长, 同时还展示了考官书写从句的能力, 最重要的是, 考生们还可以学习到举一反三的句式!

最后来看下句2的谓语, 共有两个, 分别为begin 及 be widely thought , 一主动一被动, 这又何尝不是增加句子灵活度的方式?

接下来进入到主体段2:

However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole society cannot be achieved just in the home.(1) Once a child goes to school, they are entering a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home. (2)At school, children will experience working and living with people from a whole variety of backgrounds from the wider society. (3)This experience should teach them how to co-operate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their community.(4)

先来看本段的句1, 一方面双重否定表肯定了- not 及just用法。 再一方面还起到了承上启下的作用,起到对学校教育的论述。 句2, once及where引导两个从句做嵌套, 句子虽长, 但论述逻辑清晰。 段落的句尾再次出现平行结构, 也是为了和上段做呼应。

But to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning a simple skill. It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life and it is the responsibility of every member of a society to take responsibility for helping the younger generation to become active and able members of that society.

进入到结尾段, 往往要给出观点及看法, 这里我们看到考官在给观点时用到了这样一个短语active and able。大部分人看到后没有任何感觉, 但他实际用的是押头韵的用法。 和其相似的还有, Beauty and the Beast, League of Legend 以及 Pride and Prejudice,只要留心, 这种在电影及杂志上的材料你也会留心到。

这就是C8T1的范文, 我们做了分析。 相信对大部分同学来讲,此篇文章出现的生词不会超过三个, 甚至对大部分人来说, 这篇材料是没有生词的。 但是考官就是用了双重否定表肯定, 特殊开头词, 平行结构及押头韵等等表达了多样的句式! 所以我们看出, 真正好的作文不是生词长句, 而是像考官材料一样用简单词表达多样的句式!

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